WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attempting to quell criticism of his proposal for a limited military mission in Syria, President Obama floated a more modest strategy today, saying that any U.S. action in Syria would have “no objective whatsoever.”


“Let me be clear,” he said in an interview on CNN. “Our goal will not be to effect régime change, or alter the balance of power in Syria, or bring the civil war there to an end. We will simply do something random there for one or two days and then leave.”

“I want to reassure our allies and the people of Syria that what we are about to undertake, if we undertake it at all, will have no purpose or goal,” he said. “This is consistent with U.S. foreign policy of the past.”

While Mr. Obama clearly hoped that his proposal of a brief and pointless intervention in Syria would reassure the international community, it immediately drew howls of protest from U.S. allies, who argued that two days was too open-ended a timeframe for such a mission.

That criticism led White House spokesman Jay Carney to brief reporters later in the day, arguing that the President was willing to scale down the U.S. mission to “twenty-four hours, thirty-six tops.”

“It may take twenty-four hours, but it could also take twelve,” Mr. Carney said.

“Maybe we get in there, take a look around, and get out right away. But however long it takes, one thing will not change: this mission will have no point. The President is resolute about that.”

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Photograph by Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty.

About friendsofsyria

Trying to put a stop to the lies being spread by the world press about Syria.
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  1. Matt says:

    The Borowitz report is a satire, Obama didn’t actually say that. If want to be taken seriously you should remove this article.

  2. yuri all bombed roads lead to Rome says:

    OBAMA PROMISES SYRIA STRIKE WILL HAVE NO OBJECTIVE,what can you say,seems the Devil wants His Day!Bad Boy NERO!This time you burn,while i play fiddler on the Roof!

  3. nenad petrovic says:

    If the mission is without an objective,death and destruction which result from it can have serious legal consequences for the aggressors once their immunity from prosecution as acting heads of state is gone.The world seems to be changing,some of the protagonists of the Iraq blunder have already been convicted as war criminals and can’t travel to certain countries from fear of being arrested,others are not safe from criminal prosecution even in their own countries, while the International court in the Hague is examining evidence to establish if there is grounds for prosecution for war crimes.From the legal point of view it would be very unwise for Obama to proceed with the planned actions.At his trial people who control him would deny any connection with the war crime and would probably be acquitted and he would have to accept blame for the decision which wasn’t his in the first place.The “mission without an objective” would be a very poor defense in the court of law.The Nuremberg convicts said they were following orders.Who would believe president Obama if he tried that one?

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