Russia’s Ambassador to the U.N. has been dead for less than a day. This hasn’t stopped American journalists from suggesting that he was Donald Trump’s “recruiter”.

It hasn't even been 12 hours
It hasn’t even been 12 hours

Yes, it’s already begun: Our beloved media is suggesting that Vitaly Churkin, who has been dead for less than twelve hours, was murdered by Putin/Michael Flynn/aliens because he knew too much about KGB sleeper agent Donald Trump.

This is the very logical, level-headed “insinuation” put forth by Sarah Kendzior, who is an “expert on authoritarian states” and specializes in writing mediocre horror stories about racist Trump Nazis hiding under your bed:

Churkin had 30 years of firsthand knowledge of Trump; as the man who recruited Trump to the USSR, he was in a very unique position https://twitter.com/tant1ne/status/833755226150690816 

See? She’s very important because she has one of those blue check mark things next to her name.

If you are extremely confused and don’t understand what on earth you just read, Kendzior is referring to, and completely mischaracterizing, this:

Russian ambassador to the UN Vitaly Churkin said on August 1 he had had two meetings with the Republican candidate for the White House, Donald Trump, who is the Republican candidate for U.S. presidency and the man had produced an encouraging impression on him.

Churklin said it while speaking to reporters at the UN headquarters.

“I met with Trump,” he said. “I think our first meeting took place in 1986 and the second, a few years ago. He really impressed me.”

Churkin recalled that he accompanied Soviet ambassador Yuri Dubinin on a trip to New York thirty years ago. Dubinin then had a meeting with a group of top business executives and Trump was among them.

“This was a brief meeting but I was very, very impressed,” he said. “You know, I was impressed by his energetic, open approach to doing business. Such are my personal recollections going some thirty years back.”

Yes, this is Churkin’s “30 years of firsthand knowledge of Trump”. In the interest of fairness, we will provide you with Kendzior’s “Twitter thread” which proves that Donald Trump is a KGB agent recruited by Churkin in the late 80s.

We understand that Twitter is not meant to represent the deepest and most profound of all thoughts. But this is really pushing the limits of decency. Even for Twitter.

We admit, however, that this was our first reaction to the news:

How many top Russian diplomats who are involved in brokering peace in Syria need to drop dead before we leave “coincidence” territory?

But we’re asking a question — and not an unreasonable one, when you factor in what happened to Russia’s Ambassador to Turkey — as opposed to suggesting that Churkin was Donald Trump’s Soviet handler.